Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s mum pictured calling him in for his tea in 1890.
This week: The Sign Of Four conveyed using a faulty, ship-to-ship, Aldis Lamp.
Chapter One.
Flash Blank Flash Flash Blank Wink Blank “This really is a most singular case Watson” Flash Blank Wink Flash Blank Winkety.
Chapter Two
Flash Blank Wink Blank Winkety Blank “Good Lord Holmes, these footprints bear all the indications of having been made by a small child!” Flash Wink Blank Flash!
Chapter Three
Wink Flash Blank Wink Clickety “The games afoot Watson. I believe we’ve flushed out our quarry old friend” Blank Wink Flash Blank Flash.
Chapter Four
Wink Blank Flash Blank Click Flash Flash… BLAM!!! “Capital shooting Watson! I do believe you’ve got the stunted little fiend! That dart almost put paid to me!” Flash Flash Blank Clickety Blank.
Chapter Five
Blank Flash Click Blankety Flash “Now look here Small. I have every sympathy with your plight but we can’t have Amazonian tribesmen firing poisoned darts all over South London. Take him away Inspector” Flash Blank Flash Click Blank.
Final Chapter
Wink Flash Blank Flash Flash “Ah there you are Mrs Hudson! Would you be so good as to fetch me some tea and a plug of opium my good wom… Fizzz Splutter Fizzzzzzz POP!
“Bugger!”
Next week: The Song Of Hiawatha in Braille.
For more utter drivel of a similarly appalling standard please visit http://sozsatire.wix.com/soz-satire