Monthly Archives: August 2018

OUT NOW!

trumpsterThe Trumpster is now available in a handy pop-up picture version for the President’s core supporters and Betsy DeVos

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The Donald Trump Publishing Group Bring You…

alternate factsPUBLISHER’S NOTE: The Little Golden Book of Alternate Facts has outsold every other book that has ever been published. It’s been tremendous. If I told how tremendous you wouldn’t believe me.

More people have bought this book than showed up to my inauguration which broke all records for inaugurations, especially Obama’s, where only his family could be bothered to turn up. SAD.

A slice of the proceeds from the sale of this book will go to the fund: Justice for Paul Manafort (who’s a tremendous man by the way) after I’ve taken my cut. I just want to wet my beak

Enjoy your read (or, if you’re like me, looking at the pictures)

President Donald

Mar A Lago

Murica

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NEWS IN BRIEFS

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Subscribe today and win a sound kick up the arse, every day for the rest of your life!

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OUT NOW!

Here’s one that we came up with yesterday that has already got us into trouble with members of the opposite species on some social media platforms. I blame the recent shortage of Evening Primrose Oil – Ed

PMT_Monthly_-_August_2018

We lubs ya really, ladies 😀

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WHITECHAPEL NEWS IN BRIEF

tablet repossessedIf any smart-arsed pedant points out that I have omitted the speech apostrophe at the end of the quote I shall squeam and squeam until I’m sthick – Ed

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OUT NOW!

cockney arseole mag

Subscribe today and you’ll be entered for our prize draw which carries a cash prize of a monkey.

Plus win a 3-day crash course on selling unroadworthy stolen cars from a cut and shut shop underneath the arches in Cable Street.

Just 150 smackers for 12 months and we’re stealing the grub from our dustbin lid’s plates!

Cockney Arseole is part of the Diabolical Liberty Takers Publishing Group ©

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Great News for State Sponsored Murder Enthusiasts

capital punishment magCapital Punishment Monthly is part of The Eye For An Eye publishing group. All rights reserved on pain of death.

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LIFESTYLE: Fitness For The Under-Fives

tots healthTot’s Health is part of The Infant Liver Damage and Torn Tendons Publishing Group ©

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BREAKING

tablet hide and seekThis fake news was bought to you courtesy of the Bob De Niro Donald Trump Appreciation League ©

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Dogwalker held after finding 12th body in a week

buddy-the-border-collie-5_32296_2009-09-06_w450Mr Dell’s dog pictured putting a brave face on it last night

An East London man has been arrested on suspicion of murder after he reported finding a twelfth dead body in a week while out walking his dog

Toby Dell, 35, an unmarried forklift truck driver from Whitechapel was yesterday remanded in custody at Horseferry Road magistrates court and will appear at The Old Bailey in December.

Dell, described by neighbours as a bit of a loner, reported finding found his 12th mutilated corpse in a week while walking his dog in Victoria Park in Bow at 3.00 am on Monday.

Police became suspicious when they noticed that his clothes and hands were bloodstained and that he had a meat cleaver stuffed into his waistband.

A police spokesman told a press conference: “We began to harbour suspicions after he reported finding 3 bodies in 24 hours while walking his…

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