Dear SoZ Satire
Why don’t they put a stop to all this furore over building a third runway at Heathrow by simply building it on the soon-to-be vacant site of the ‘Jungle’ migrant camp in Calais. That way, nobody would have to lose their homes and all the refugees that are hiding from the French authorities in the woods nearby could come out and work as baggage handlers or air traffic control personnel.
Dear SoZ Satire
During the second World War surely it would have been better not to have used a closet homosexual like Alan Turing as a code-breaker at Bletchley Park. Imagine how much quicker we could have deciphered important messages from the Germans if the bloke given the task wasn’t constantly looking at the other mathematician’s arses. I mean to say, it would be like asking me to do the crossword surrounded by naked Page 3 bints.
Also From Whitechapel
A furious Murs pictured earlier
The management team of pop icon, Olly Murs, has told The Whitechapel Whelk that the star pulled out of performing at the Manchester Olympic and Paralympic parade last Monday after overhearing a parade organiser making fun of his big face at a fundraising dinner the night before the event.
It was previously thought that Murs had pulled out in a row about a late set change, but a spokesman for Murs’ team confirmed that the Heart Skips A Beat singer withdrew after he heard a Manchester city councillor call him ‘a moon-faced git’ while chatting to some friends at the bar in City Hall.
“Olly was disgusted by the remarks this individual made about his big face and decided to pull out of the show,” the spokesman told us. “Olly is fully aware that his fans will have been disappointed by his decision, but he…
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