SoZ Satire’s TV Choice


TCM 11.30: The Belly Of The Beast – Explorer, David Attenborough, embarks on a 6-week journey across, TV personality, Vanessa Feltz’s midriff.

TCM – 23.30: Along The Great Divide – She turns over, allowing Attenborough to make the 200-mile trek between the cheeks of her arse.


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Stacy’s Vegan Cookbook with Stacy Slaughterhouse-Gore

Originally posted on The League Of Mental Men & SoZ Satire Present...:

stacy slaughterhouseTHIS WEEK: Stacy prepares a delicious and ethically-sound, Bully Beef Casserole in a Wild Mushroom and Lamb’s Spleen Gravy.

For this absolutely delicious and warming vegan favourite, I always get the ingredients direct from my local abattoir to ensure that only the freshest and most succulent cuts are used. The manager often allows me to pole axe and butcher my animal of choice which is a real bonus. Here’s how to prepare this wonderful addition to any vegan’s repertoire:

Firstly, deep fry the bully beef and the spleens in prime beef dripping until cooked. Then, put the whole lot in a casserole dish with some Oxo gravy and calf’s blood. Finally, cook on a low heat (around gas mark 3) for 2 hours.

To garnish, put a wild mushroom on the side of the plate, or if you don’t have these, a pork and beef Cumberland sausage will do…

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SoZ Satire’s Wonderful Worldwide World of Wonder

Originally posted on The League Of Mental Men & SoZ Satire Present...:

soz anal bombs

You know William Shakespeare? Well, according to a bloke down the pub, he used to deliberately fall over in front of women so that they’d feel sorry for him. Sometimes, he’d even hit himself over the head with a hammer and tell women that he’d been given a clump by a gang of footpads.

According to this bloke down the pub, he used to get off on the sympathy and would regularly blow his custard in his pants as soon as these women started asking him if he was ok.

It’s amazing what you hear down the pub isn’t it? Last night, a geezer told me that all the judges on Strictly Come Dancing have a sex orgy after each show, with Len Goodman the only one who’s interested in shafting that Darcy bint. Dirty fuckers!

NEXT WEEK: SSWWWOW reveals that Prince Charles once farted in The Queen’s face while…

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London’s Teenage Boys Listed as an Endangered Species Following Stabbing Outbreak

Originally posted on The League Of Mental Men & SoZ Satire Present...:

teen gangstersFollowing the recent spate of stabbings in the capital, London’s teenage boys have now been officially listed as a critically-endangered species by The International Union for Conservation of Nature, it emerged last night.

The IUCN have announced emergency plans to protect the youngsters, which will include the appointment of armed game wardens, licenced to shoot to kill any person or persons perceived to be posing a threat to their survival.

Designated, postcode-based conservation areas will also be introduced where the youths will be free to roam with other members of their species without fear of being preyed upon by rival teens from other parts of London.

These fenced-in areas will contain at least one amusement arcade, a skateboard park and an Asian-run convenience store where underage youngsters will be able to buy staples vital to their survival, (such as cigarettes, kitchen knives, and premium strength lager)

A spokesman for the…

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Classic Pop Song Lyrics for Intellectuals

Originally posted on The League Of Mental Men & SoZ Satire Present...:


She actually IS still a virgin you know. A geezer down the pub told me. Oh yes.

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Strong Parliamentary Support for Proposed Air Strikes on Katie Hopkins

Originally posted on The League Of Mental Men & SoZ Satire Present...:

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reconstructive dental surgery by The Artful Dodger

There was wild cheering in The House of Commons yesterday as Prime Minister, David Cameron, announced plans to launch a series of RAF strikes on controversial media personality, Katie Hopkins.

Cameron delivered a blistering call to arms as he demanded that Britain put an end to the constant, bigoted bluster from the self-styled ‘uber bitch’ once and for all.

It is believed that the first strikes will be made on Saturday evening when she leaves The Sun newspaper’s offices in Wapping, East London, with further bombing taking place at her home just to be on the safe side.

There was widespread support for the initiative from both sides of the house; with the only note of caution coming from Labour leader, Jeremy Corbyn, who advocated restraint and suggested an equally satisfactory result could be obtained by smashing her teeth out with a hammer.

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London Tube Escalator Directive Unfair to Drunks Says Pressure Group

Originally posted on The League Of Mental Men & SoZ Satire Present...:

drunk 1

The recent directive from Transport for London, which calls for people to stand still on both the left and the right side of escalators at London’s underground stations, has been attacked as being unfair to drunks and people with full bladders by a drinker’s pressure group.

People Against Sensible Drinking, hit out last night in a strongly-worded statement: “We see this directive as an infringement of our human rights and another unwarranted attack on those of us who enjoy a good skinful before traveling on public transport. Remaining still with 8 or 9 pints tucked under your belt is simply too much to ask in our view. Surely TFL could allow for a bit of unsteady swaying from side to side, the odd stumble, or hopping from one foot to the other to alleviate bladder discomfort. We at PASB are not prepared to take this lying down. Unless, of course…

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