Devastated: Syrian youngsters express their grief at the death of Manuel out of Fawlty Towers
The beleaguered residents of the war-torn town of Aleppo are to hold a minutes silence later today as a mark of respect for Manuel out of the popular comedy show, Fawlty Towers, who died yesterday from being very old.
We spoke to one man as he crawled from the rubble of his home following a Russian airstrike that had just wiped out his wife and children, “I was pretty cut up when the Russians took out the wife and kids just now, but this news that Manuel out of Fawlty Towers has died at a ripe old age has come as a real hammer blow.
“It’s only decent that those of us who haven’t yet been blown apart by Russian bombers should hold a minutes silence to pay our respects”
We spoke to a Kremlin representative last night, who told us: “A minutes silence eh? Well, we’ll just have to see about that won’t we comrade”
RT’s editorial leader in last Thursday’s edition
In a shock outburst yesterday, The Tooth Fairy lashed out at the Putin-sponsored online newspaper, Russia Today, or “RT” as it now prefers to be known.
Speaking to Soz Satire, the normally mild-mannered winged pixie tore into the widely discredited Kremlin mouthpiece. “How the fuck can sane and rational people swallow the utter bilge that is pumped out on a daily basis by RT? Just tell me that.
“Even their own journalists are constantly resigning after being instructed to write state-fed, unsubstantiated rumours and downright lies for God’s sake.
“I regularly see their laughable propaganda splurged all over Facebook by people with an IQ below their shoe size and it has to stop.
“These utter fucktards would be better served and more widely-informed if they took out a subscription to the fucking Beano”
We tried to speak to one of the editorial team at RT last night but were told that most of them were working on a breaking news story that President Obama is a gay KGB double agent and that his wife, Michelle, once starred in a dwarf/amputee porno film.
The remainder of the editorial staff have apparently been imprisoned in Lublanka for refusing to run a story on Putin’s legendary – and strictly heterosexual – gymnastic prowess in the bedroom.