1: Sarah was born in the English town of Sheffield where she represented ‘The Steel City’ at cricket and rugby union at the tender age of 7
2: Sarah lost her virginity aged 35 to a Chilean communist coal miner. She later paid to have him murdered after complaining that the light on his helmet hurt her eyes
3: She has a collection of Donald Trump’s underpants and always wears a pair during White House press briefings, claiming that she can ‘feel his essence’ when answering tricky questions
5: She can play a number of popular tunes by slapping her double chins, and, as a youngster, once gave a rendition of I Was Born Under A Wandering Star at Nancy Regan’s 80th birthday party
6: Her sexual appetite is enormous and she once cavorted with 37 detective constables in just under an hour at the 92nd Policeman’s Ball in London…
View original post 42 more words
Khashoggi pictured in typical two-fisted mood last week. Picture courtesy of The Saudi Hand Chopping and Dissident Flogging Bugle
The Saudi Arabian government have made the claim that the missing journalist, Jamel Khashoggi, was killed during a violent melee in the Saudi consulate building in Turkey, after the furious newsman launched a number of kung fu stars at terrified staff, one of which, rebounded off a lampshade and struck him a fatal blow on the temple
A spokesman for the Saudi consulate said last night: “Mr Khashoggi was definitely looking for trouble that night.
“He looked dishevelled and had clearly been drinking heavily
“Without warning, he started acting like a crazy man and began hurling kung fu stars at staff members.
“Unfortunately for him, he was killed instantly by one of his own weapons which bounced back off of a light shade or a wall or something. The details are…
View original post 111 more words