Monthly Archives: November 2018

ARTS GRATIA ARSEHATS

jacob xmas carols

For those unfamiliar with the British political scene and the current Brexit machinations that are making us all slump face down into the soup course, Rees-Mogg is a privileged, feeble-minded, Old Etonian twat and backbench Conservative MP who used to stand for the National Anthem when he was alone in his study at school, and is still living in the Britain of Admiral Lord Nelson and The Duke of Wellington, and who ardently believes it will be in the countries best interests to crash out of the Brexit negotiations with absolutely no deal on the table, despite being warned against it by the Governor of The Bank of England (whom he attacked yesterday for having the temerity to be a Canadian), and also Her Majesty’s Treasury, who reported that a no-deal Brexit would be ‘catastrophic’ and somewhat akin to throwing ourselves from The White Cliffs of Dover into a sea…

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Local lovers call for beds to be installed in The Limehouse Link Tunnel

limehouse A rumpy-pumpy-free section of The Limehouse Link pictured last night

Over a thousand young men and women from across East London have signed a petition calling for double beds to be installed at regular intervals along the one and a half mile length of The Limehouse Link Tunnel, which links the northern approach to Tower Bridge to London’s Docklands.

The youngsters feel that their desires have been sidelined and that the lack of lovemaking facilities in the tunnel contravenes their human rights.

The leader of the pressure group, ‘Tunnel of Love’, Toby Dell, 23, told us: “It’s an absolute disgrace that young people are expected to walk all that way in the darkness and with all those poisonous lorry fumes with nowhere to stop to have sex.

“I walked through with my girlfriend last week and she became so desperate after half an hour she had to masturbate to completion…

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OUT NOW!

transexual twat mag

Transexual Twat is a member of the Surgically Sorted Gender Bender Publishing Group

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Media News in Brief

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This one’s for our beautiful graphics editor, Sofia, because she’s my faverit – Ed

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OBITUARIES

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Sleep tight, my friend. You were a bloody marvel.

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OUT NOW!

keyboard-warriorKeyboard Warrior Monthly© is a member of the Involuntarily Celibate Publishing Group

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WHITE HOUSE INSIDER LATEST

trump melaniaNEXT WEEK: White House Insider gets the lowdown on Rudy Giuliani’s 5-hour beauty routine

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