Monthly Archives: May 2015

Youthful Satirical Mag Editor Claims Full Credit For Front Page Speech Bubbles

Reblogging your own copy on a different blog is great isn’t it? It’s a bit like getting somebody else to go to the toilet for you…I expect.

The League of Mental Men!

Political Parties Pledge

Christ! Check out the f*****g captions on that!” – Baking guru, Mary Berry.

In a shock revelation that will shake the very foundations of the world of mildly unsuccessful satirical magazines, the 19-year-old editor of Soz Satire “A Piss Poor Excuse For Humour”, has revealed that, just before the latest edition was published, he made a number of alterations to the front page speech bubbles, making them in his view: “Even funnier”

Clivey Dee, 19, and looking a fair bit younger, told reporters outside his office in Whitechapel, East London:

“Just before we went live the other week I went into the online editing bit and made a few alterations to the speech bubbles to make them even funnier. Our graphics bloke, The Artful Dodger, who’s getting on a bit in years to be honest, had done his best bless him, but when you’re as old as he is you tend…

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Dear Soz

josef

Dear Soz Satire.

Explorers. Recreate the shrill, deafening cries of the Amazonian Howler Monkeys that you encountered on your last expedition by walking into a feminist’s workshop with a copy of Big ‘n’ Bouncy tucked under your arm. To increase the volume, slap one of them across the arse and ask her to stick the kettle on.

Teddy Livingstone

Zimbabwe

For more outrageous misogyny and gags of an extremely questionable nature, why not visit:

http://sozsatire.wix.com/soz-satire

The current Archbishop Of York does and according to what he told me on the phone last night: “Absolutely fucking loves it mate”

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Charlotte Brontesaurus: 19th Century Romantic Agony Aunt

Who writes this bilge!?…ah. 😦

The League of Mental Men!

charlotte bronte

“Anyone got any ciggies? I’m dying for a burn!”

Here’s one I wrote a little earlier that will almost certainly bring the ubiquitous death threats from the fragrant, lady members of The Bronte’s Appreciation Society. Sorry girls but I’m afraid it had to be done 🙂

It’s not as dire as the singing buoy skit I foisted upon you the other day but it runs it pretty damn close I don’t mind telling you! 🙂

http://sozsatire.wix.com/soz-satire#!charlotte-brontesaurus/cj96

Warning: Contains heaving bosoms, men in tight riding breeches and the odd spelling mistake.

Clivey Dee, 19.

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Facebooker Takes Own Life Following ‘Friends’ Snub.

ugly woman

“I’ve not been well lately you know”

This one is a cautionary and heartbreaking tale which starkly illustrates the heartless, self-obsessed world of social media and the tragic consequences that can result. Thankfully, we members of the tight-knit WordPress Family know that this type of tragedy could never befall a member of our own ranks. That would be too ridiculous for words. Right?

Warning: May contain upsetting material and a variety of deluded halfwits.

http://sozsatire.wix.com/soz-satire#!status-update-dead/c55b

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Soz Satire’s TV Choice

television

Film4. 14.30: A Farewell To Arms.

Hilarious romp recounting the true-life tale of a drunken London man who tried to retrieve his cheese sandwich from a tank of hydrochloric acid.

Warning: May contain scenes of a graphic nature and annoying government sponsored ads urging people to drink sensibly. 

For more cheap little gags like this and an extremely unlikely tale of a shipping lane marker who speaks in a southern drawl why not visit:

http://sozsatire.wix.com/soz-satire

It’s got a nice bit of Abba music on the front page and everybody likes a nice bit of Abba at the end of the day, right folks? 🙂

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Good Ole Buoy: Redneck Shipping Lane Marker

buoy

“Ah’m a tossin’ and a pitchin’ but ah keeps on bitchin'”

This is quite possibly the worst, most banal and ill-conceived piece of utter dross I have ever written and is therefore worth a visit for that depressing fact alone folks.

The new front page, however, is a minor tour de force and I’d like to thank The Artful Dodger for putting in the tireless hours bringing it to fruition. Unfortunately, this isn’t possible at the moment as he’s fast asleep with Mr Grumbles, his teddy, and the entire cast of Les Miserables.

http://sozsatire.wix.com/soz-satire#!good-ole-buoy/c11yi

Please don’t blame me for the abysmal quality of the above. I only wrote it ok?

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Self-Concious Protester Moves Placard Up And Down In Time With Chanting

man in gas mask

It’s a quirky little skit this one folks and was inspired (if that’s the right word for tripe of this magnitude) by a news item on BBC London Tonight last week. If you agree with me that it’s sub-standard and puerile, don’t hesitate to use the comments option both here and in the mag itself ok? Great!

http://sozsatire.wix.com/soz-satire#!demonstration-humiliation/css7

x

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Soz Satire’s TV Choice:

television

Sky Action Movies 13.45: The Fast And The Furious.

Harrowing and moving true-life account of a man who is constantly smashed over the head with a frying pan by his girlfriend due to his premature ejaculation issues.

Warning: May contain a number of feeble excuses, tablets bought over the internet and unmanly weeping.

For even more heartless, condemnatory mocking of people with ruined relationships and head trauma, why not visit:

http://sozsatire.wix.com/soz-satire

It’ll put some much-needed lead in your pencil chaps…I expect.

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And now…THIS!

nice

“Nice”

As Dear Sozies go, this isn’t one of my best in all honesty, so your best bet would be to give it the swerve and read some of the others in the Personal & Classified Section. The one about the X-Ray pants is particularly slightly above average in my view. Even the missus quite liked it!!!

http://sozsatire.wix.com/soz-satire#!dear-soz/c1c7v

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Satirical Magazine Accused Of Reaching All-Time Low

soz with george

An old front cover featuring my son’s dog smoking a cigar pictured last night

The controversial satirical magazine, Soz Satire, today stands accused of plumbing new depths of bad taste following the publication yesterday of a skit based around see-through pants.

The mag’s youthful editor, Clivey Dee, 19, last night defended the decision to use the piece, claiming it was in the public interest and would make ‘a nice change’ from the myriad general election-based spoofs that are prevalent at the moment.

A number of women’s groups, however, have hit out at the piece, calling it misogynistic and degrading to women. Jade Dell, 46, the chairwoman of Women Against Any Form Of Enjoyment, said:

“While I realise that Mr Dee is extremely youthful at the tender age of 19, I still object most strongly to his skit about transparent underwear. I don’t want to live in a society where cocks and minges are spoken about in such a jocular manner. Our children deserve to be protected from smut such as this and raised in a decent environment without having to endure a constant barrage of glistening clouts and straining nobs every five minutes”

Here’s a link to the piece in question. Be advised that it contains explicit references to both male and female genitalia, along with laughable punctuation and syntax:

http://sozsatire.wix.com/soz-satire#!x-ray-pants/c1q00

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