Exclusive picture of the revolutionary new ball that the ISIL Soccer Federation wish to introduce for the one-off match.
The fierce global bidding war to screen the proposed Christmas ceasefire football game between American forces and an Islamic State eleven has been won by Rupert Murdoch’s Sky TV network, who have reportedly paid around eighty million dollars for the rights to screen the match which is scheduled to kick off at an undisclosed venue in Iraq on Boxing Day.
Sepp Blatter, the head of world soccer’s governing body, FIFA, under whose auspices the match will be played, told reporters at a press conference in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia last night. “We can confirm that the match will be played on the 26th of December and screened live to a global audience by Sky Television. Standard Association Football rules will naturally be in force and match officials will be absolutely stringent in ensuring their observance and application at all times”
This last comment was seen by many as a reference to the infamous Xmas Armistice game, played in 2003, between a team comprised of United States military police and a Saddam Hussein select eleven during which the American goalkeeper was beheaded by an Iraqi central defender as he went up for a corner and a number of the Iraqi players complained of being bitten by attack dogs when taking throw-ins and of being stripped naked and waterboarded in the changing rooms at half time.