Tag Archives: London Borough of Croydon

CHAVSTER! The Great New Xmas Board Game For All The Feckless, Croydon-Based Family

Chavster proves popular with a number of Croydon youngsters as the boxes fly off the shelves last night

Croydon Council are delighted to announce the launch of our exciting new board game, Chavster, which we hope will delight thousands of the feral, moronic arseoles that reside in this great borough of ours

Chavster will both challenge and delight you as you’re confronted by a number of tricky conundrums, including, how to fraudulently fill in benefit claims forms, how to concoct believable excuses to give your parole officer after non-attendance, how to strip all the copper piping from your council flat and many more.

Each player will be able to chose a small plastic token which can be furtively moved around the board. These include a can of Tennants Super, an electronic tag, an unmarried mother, complete with buggy, and a stolen VW Golf GTi.

The object of the game is to collect as many points which will be awarded in the form of benefit tokens, as you can. These can then be sold  on to a Bulgarian asylum seeker or alternately exchanged for drugs. The winner will be the player who ends the game with the most cash or the biggest stash of illegal substances.

A bit like Snakes And Ladders there will be a number of hazards to negotiate, such as police stop and search teams, DSS fraud detection officers and social workers who will take your kids into care if you try to gain extra points by selling them into slavery or by introducing them into prostitution.

Conversely, players can gain an advantage by indulging in anti-social behaviour, such as burgling a neighbour’s house, plying underage youngsters with drink in order to take advantage of them, or hanging around outside shops smoking cannabis and hurling insults at passers-by.

Chavster will be available from December 1st in all good outlets throughout the borough and will retail at £18.99 although to be honest we expect the entire warehouse of stock to be robbed long before then.

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Filed under Humor, Humour, Satire, Spoof, Uncategorized