Tag Archives: friendly fire

95% Of Americans Will Have Accidentally Killed Each Other By 2050 Concludes Survey

massacre

Pupils and teachers from Alabama State High School pictured taking an enforced break during a class nature walk yesterday.

 

A shock investigation by a popular American magazine has revealed that by the year 2050 an incredible 95% of American citizens will have accidentally killed each other by the negligent discharge of firearms.

The in-depth analysis comes just weeks after a young black male was shot dead in the street by cops who mistook his hands up gesture to be a threat to the lives of themselves and fellow officers, and the accidental fatal shooting of a firearms instructor by a 9 year old girl last week.

Fightin’ And A Feudin’ magazine also claim that by the turn of the next century the American armed forces will have entirely wiped themselves out, along with 97% of Nato forces, in friendly fire incidents.

A spokesman for the National Rifle Association Of America played down the report last night. “We at the NRA totally refute these findings. Every American citizen has the right to bear arms under the constitution and if a few sorry sonsofbitches get caught in the crossfire then all I can say is they probably had it coming”

Clivey Dee. Popular Hedgehog & Live Ammo Weekly.

 

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Dear Soz

josef

Dear Soz Satire.

Americans. Put an immediate stop to the jihadist insurgency in Iraq by simply joining forces with ISIS. With your propensity to kill your own allies with friendly fire the war will be over in days.

Maj. Gen. Felicity Iron-Lung

Australia

PS. I’m allowed to tag this piece as “satire” because it’s using extreme irony tinged with bitterness to lampoon something that’s based on fact that I find ridiculous and not just trotting out formulaic old toot using people with “funny” names. 

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Filed under Satire