Tag Archives: boxing

McGregor challenges Dalai Lama to megabucks ‘Pray-Off’

dalai lama boxing

“His ass will be mine by the end of Round Nine!” Lama in combative mood last night

Newly-defeated mixed martial arts fighter, Conor McGregor, last night roared out a defiant challenge to Tibetan spiritual leader, The Dalai Lama, calling for the 67-year-old Buddhist monk to meet him in a monastery of his choice for a bumper pay day, no-prayer wheels-barred, ‘pray-off’ for the right to be called the devoutest unarmed man on the planet.

Speaking to the press just hours after he was bludgeoned to defeat in Las Vegas by 40-year-old American ring legend, Floyd Mayweather, McGregor was in no mood to take prisoners:

“If The Dalai Lama thinks he’s such a spiritual hotshot then I’m prepared to give him an education in theological devotion.

“I’ll out-pray this Tibetan bitch in his own backyard if that’s what it takes. I’m going to show the world, that even though Mayweather handed me a can of Whup Ass in the ring, when it comes to offering up devotions to a higher power, I’m the fucking daddy.”

Lama, undefeated after 60 years in the temple, last night responded to McGregor’s challenge in typically outspoken style.

Speaking from his training camp in The Himalayas, where he’s preparing for a multi-million dollar, one-on-one theological debate with The Chief Rabbi, he told reporters: “If the money’s right I’ll be ready for this chump, no question. It’ll be a pleasure to kick his ass in front of his own omnipotent deity”

If the two camps can reach an agreement, this will be the biggest and most eagerly-awaited religious tear-up since Archbishop Robert Runcie stopped The Ayatollah Khomeini after 14 gruelling rounds of spiritual contemplation and chanting in Caesar’s Palace in Tehran in 1982.

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Soz Satire’s Heavily Edited Movie Classics #56,009: Rocky IV

rocky

“He aint laid a glove on ya champ!”…“Then keep an eye on the goddam ref because somebody’s kicking my ass in dere!”

 

Rocky: “Hey Apollo! You need to get your ass in better shape brother. Dat Russkie, Ivan Drago, aint no bum of the month my friend”

Paulie: “He aint gonna make it Rock. Dat lousy, commie sonofabitch was just too strong for him”

Rocky: “ADRIAAAAAAAAAN!”

A few months later in Moscow

Drago: “I must break you”

BIFF THUMP BASH SOCK POW!  GNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! *Thud*

Crowd: ROCKEE!…ROCKEE!…ROCKEE!

Rocky: ADRIAAAAAAAN!

The End.

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Filed under Humor, Humour, Satire