Tag Archives: Benjamin Netanyahu

Netanyahu hits back after Priti Patel 1-star rating on TripAdvisor

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Israeli prime minister, Benjamin Netanyahu, last night hit back furiously at disgraced UK international development secretary, Priti Patel, after she gave him a paltry 1-star rating on holiday site, TripAdvisor.

Patel, who was forced to resign on Wednesday following a number of meetings with Netanyahu and other prominent Israeli political figures, slammed the venue for the meeting as, “filthy and unhygienic, with cockroaches in the bedroom, noisy air conditioning, and no plug for the bathtub”

She also criticised, the Israeli premier for being “surly and unhelpful” when she asked if she could have an ironing board, and for being “miles from the beach with a gruelling uphill walk to get back to the conference room from the town”

Giving Netanyahu a 1-star rating, she advised future travellers to: “give him a miss and find a political figure that’s actually worth the money”

Netanyahu responded furiously last night: “This lady needs to understand that you get what you pay for in the holiday business. If it’s 5-star luxury she’s after I suggest she spends a fortnight with Denis Skinner”

It is believed that Patel will now be considering her options during a short break to Sarah Palin.

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SOZ SATIRE’S WONDERFUL WORLDWIDE WORLD OF WONDERS

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You know that Benjamin Netanyahu out of the Israeli government? He can sing using just his arse and regularly performs a medley of tunes during tea breaks at cabinet meetings.

Apparently, he sucks in air through his mouth and expels it from his arse, wobbling his buttocks with his hands to create different notes. His repertoire includes The Rose of Tralee, When You’re Smiling and Thanks For The Memories. He once accidentally lost control of his bowels during a performance but managed to get out of it by telling the other members of the government that he was just clearing his throat.

He can also recreate various sound effects, including Dr Who’s spaceship taking off and the opening cannonade at The Battle of St. Austerlitz. His wife can also do it and they regularly sing their children to sleep using their arses.

Absolutely true that is. My nan told me down the pub.

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