I won’t let Trump build new golf course on my big face, vows Olly Murs

The Whitechapel Whelk

Olly - Copy

Big-faced pop icon, Olly Murs, last night rebuffed a move by disgraced former US President, Donald Trump, to build a links-style, eighteen-hole golf course on his gigantic face.

During an exclusive Whelk interview, Murs, 85, told us: “I’ve allowed my big face to be used for a number of projects down the years, from a film set for a movie about the moon landings to a refugee camp for thirty thousand fleeing victims of the war in Syria. However, I draw the line at allowing Trump to build a golf course on my massive dial for him and his odious Republican cronies.

“Can you imagine the horror of having Rudy Giuliani teeing off close to one of my eyes and catching a glimpse of his cock and balls up his trouser leg?

“Even if I did allow the project to go ahead, what are the chances of getting paid?

“The…

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