1: Harry first encountered Meghan on Safari in Nairobi where he shot her in the back after mistaking her for a charging bull elephant
2: Harry proposed to Meghan in a swish restaurant in London’s Cannon Street. She responded by jokingly tipping her plate of pie and mash into his lap
3: They first slept together half an hour after being introduced, but Harry was unable to perform due to intense pain from a full rectal prolapse brought on by sitting on his gerbil earlier that day
4: The Royal couple keep their love life fresh by indulging in mutual hanging in the bedroom, often to the point of death.
5: Their nightly bedtime ritual involves Harry smashing Meghan’s face into a framed portrait of Piers Morgan which they have hanging in the ensuite bathroom
6: Harry and Meghan’s names can be formed into an anagram which includes the words…
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