My mind-cleansing helmet will expunge the memory of Noddy & Big Ears’ gay romps says Jacob Rees-Mogg

jacob Mr Rees-Mog MP, pictured yesterday looking even more of a complete twat in a silly hat.

Controversial Conservative backbencher, Jacob Rees Mogg, yesterday claimed to have built a mind-cleansing helmet, which can completely eradicate any memories of Noddy & Big Ears sharing a bed in earlier versions of the children’s TV classic, which may still haunt some of Britain’s elderly population.

Before the new computer-generated version of Enid Blyton’s books appeared on our screens, Noddy & Big Ears would be routinely depicted in the same bed at night, which, according to Rees-Mogg, could have traumatised many of Britain’s elderly population and may have caused over a million normal men to “turn towards sodomy”, he told newsmen yesterday at the unveiling of his mind-cleansing device.

“Just 2 minutes of wearing this helmet will completely wipe the memories of Noddy & Big Ears’ debauched lifestyle”, he claimed.

“My wife has tried it…

View original post 133 more words

Leave a comment

Filed under Humour

Comments are closed.