BREAKING: Government urges people to make small talk during a nuclear strike.

nuclear-bomb-explosion-blast-city-shutterstock528910063The government yesterday issued new guidelines on how to react when under nuclear attack, advising people to make banal small talk during any future apocalyptic bombardment

In the official booklet: ‘The Nuclear Winter and You: A Handy Guide’, the government urges people to, “Have a chat with a friend or neighbour, broaching harmless topics such as gardening, light entertainment, crochet, or cookery

“By making small talk and discussing mundane, everyday matters, your mind will naturally turn to more pleasant fare until the moment comes when you are turned into a negative”

Meanwhile, in the United States of America, President Donald Trump responded positively to Britain’s initiative in a 2.00am tweet: ‘The great people of Britain are showing the world how to deal with uranium which can be a bad thing, believe me. These are tremendously great people, my friends. So great. Have I run out of characters ye…’

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