1: Keep it short. 1 to 3 words maximum. Any longer and no fucker will read it, trust me
2: Put a picture of a flower at the top
3: Visit shedloads of other blogs, making irritating, over-the-top comments.
4: Wear a silly hat
NEXT WEEK: How hosting a blog based on sceptic tank emptying and/or the Christian faith will make you better in bed.