Ask Spunky Woods: The Masturbation Guru to The Stars

The Whitechapel Whelk

spunky-woods

Dear Spunky

On a recent flight to China to visit my girlfriend, who I hadn’t seen in 4 months, I masturbated to completion in the toilet a couple of hours before landing.

The thinking behind it, was, that if I cleared the tubes before meeting up with her again, I would be able to last longer when we were in bed together later that day.

My worry now is that there were security cameras hidden in the toilet and that footage now exists of me pleasuring myself.

I did notice that a couple of the stewardesses were looking at me a bit oddly and were giggling together when I came out.

Please help if you can Spunky as I’ve been so worried I’ve barely had a wink of sleep since the incident took place.

Regards

Joel Clunge-Disorder
Watford Junction

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Dear Joel

As a masturbation guru and self-abuse counsellor…

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