ITV viewers statistically less likely to be able to rub their tummies and talk at the same time, says report

stupid woman

An ITV viewer pictured last night

A recent in-depth report into Britain’s TV viewing habits has found that people who watch ITV on a regular basis are far less likely to be able to perform simple tasks, such as rubbing their tummies and talking simultaneously, or of spelling fairly rudimentary words, such as; ‘dog’ and ‘a’

The report has also found that people who watch shows like The X-Factor and Britain’s Got Talent are statistically far more likely to be fat and ugly and to have voted for Brexit.

Soz Satire asked people to write to our news desk with their reaction but we received no response, although we did get a few rather nice drawings of dinosaurs and people’s mums in the garden done in green crayon.

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