100 per cent of self-published writers will go to the grave blissfully unaware of their desperate lack of talent, claims report

A recent report has found that an astonishing 100 per cent of people who have handed over cash in exchange for having their work published by an opportunist bandit with a nifty line in flattery, will die in total ignorance of their own ineptitude and desperation.

The study, carried out by Cambridge University, goes on to point out that the prior publishing of excerpts of the work in a blog or online magazine where it attracts glowing praise from others is not a sign of the writer’s brilliance, but is a direct result of the writer in question having spent countless hours trawling through reams of similarly hideous copy from fellow bloggers, advising them that they are the next Hemingway or Virginia Wolf.

We spoke to a representative of the popular blogging site, WordPress, where many of these delusional individuals regularly churn out their literary effluent, who told us.

“Yes, we are well aware that these people are remarkably inept and that they will take their final breath blissfully unaware of the true horror of their output, but they’re not doing any harm and it lines our pockets very nicely indeed, thank you very much.”

The report can be seen in full on the WordPress blog: “My Fantastic Report and How I Never Allowed My Dream of Getting the Wretched Thing Published Die.

 

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