Facebooker’s dismay at ‘low rent’ opening death in 2017.



Jill Saward, whose death yesterday failed to reach 2016 standards


A starstruck Facebooker has expressed his disappointment, at what he sees, as the poor quality of the first newsworthy death of the new year.

Jill Saward, a fierce campaigner for the rights of women who have been the victims of sexual assault and a rape victim herself in the 1970s, died yesterday aged 51.

Mr Toby Dell, 54, who treats the death of celebrities as if he’s just been informed that his mother has been crucified by ISIS, told us last night: “I was disgusted when I spotted all the furore over the death of this woman on the news last night.

“I mean to say, has she ever appeared in a film or even a TV series? She doesn’t even look good for God’s sake. If 2017 goes on like this it will be a very poor show indeed after the celebrity death fest we were treated to last year. Talk about low rent”

When we told Mr Dell of Jill’s tireless campaign to raise awareness about the treatment of rape victims and of her own horrific ordeal, he shrugged his shoulders and said: “And you expect me to change my avatar and pour out my heart on my timeline for that do you? I think not. Come back to me when you have evidence that she once appeared in a film firing a ray gun and I might have a rethink”


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