Google to introduce ‘celebrity death risk’ app in 2017

The Whitechapel Whelk

grim-reaper-grave-front-t-shirt-printThe Whitechapel Whelk has learned that internet giants, Google, will be introducing a subscription-based add-on to their latest Chrome browser in January 2017 which will enable subscribers to receive early warnings of a possible celebrity death.

Google hope that the ‘Mourn-o-Mate’ app will alert people whenever a celebrity is at a high to medium risk of passing away thereby enabling them to get their intensive Wikipedia research done in advance.

This, in turn, will make them appear to have been a lifelong devotee of the dead person in question with an encyclopaedic knowledge of their early life and career when they make their tribute post on Facebook within minutes of the announcement of their passing.

The app will issue an alert to the subscriber’s device whenever a celebrity calls the doctor and requests a home visit, or shows up on television looking alarming old and gaunt and sporting a deathly…

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