The Department of Work and Pensions have announced, that from January 2017, people claiming jobseeker’s allowance or universal credit will be woken daily at 6.00am by a jobcentre staff member beating on their door with a cudgel.
The same staff member will then order them to put on a pair of underpants before flogging them through the streets to the local benefits office using a barbed flail or ‘scourge’ for the purpose
The Secretary of State For Work and Pensions, Damien Green, told a press conference yesterday: “This government feels that more incentive is needed to get people back into the workplace.
“We have therefore decided to increase the frequency of the requirement to sign on the dole and to administer some extreme, corrective corporal punishment as an added deterrent to sponging off the state.
“Combined with the humiliation of being paraded through the streets in their underwear, we are hoping that measures such as this will make these individuals think twice about being a burden on the state in future”
When questioned, Green refused to confirm or deny a leaked government proposal to birch old age pensioners who apply for the winter fuel allowance before dragging them through the streets tethered to fast cars.