Scotland in Shock At “Irn Bru is English” Revelation




An advert for Irn Bru from the olden days


Millions of Scots were reeling last night after the manufacturers of the iconic soft drink, Irn Bru, revealed yesterday that the recipe came originally from England, and that the first ever can of the popular beverage carried a Cross of St George logo and bore the legend: Irn Bru, “Made From Bowler Hats & Brollies”

The great grandson of Irn Bru’s founder, A. G. Barr, Tam “Irn” Barr, has now stunned the entire Scottish nation, whose love for the bright orange beverage led to it being dubbed “Scotland’s 2nd favourite drink”, by revealing that it was, in fact, his English great grandmother who came up with the recipe, allegedly to boost her elderly husband’s flagging stamina in the bedroom.

According to Mr Barr, the first production line was set up in Whitechapel in East London in 1909, but the drink proved unpopular with the cockney locals on the grounds that it didn’t mix well with gin and caused the local delicacy, jellied eels, to ferment in the stomach.

Production was then moved to Glasgow later that year where the drink was enthusiastically welcomed by Scots throughout the country, who still enjoy both it’s versatility when mixed with Scotch Whisky and Buckfast Tonic Wine, and the concussive effect the bottles have when hitting each other over the head with the empties during domestic squabbles at weekends.



Filed under Humour

9 responses to “Scotland in Shock At “Irn Bru is English” Revelation

  1. No one had better try and make my bowler into a drink or I will shove their head so far up their own arse they will spend the rest of their life crawling around on all fours looking for a light switch. Just saying.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Steady on there PG! There could be impressionable and drink-ravaged young Jocks reading this! Tsk 😦

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yes but the likelihood that any of them can read is fairly slim 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      • Funnily enough, I sent the piece to the editor of a well-known magazine earlier who just happens to be a Glaswegian. To my utter astonishment, he not only ran the piece but also promised to shell out my advertising cut for last year’s efforts. Only kidding about that second bit btw 😀

        Liked by 1 person

      • Well, the first bit is brilliant enough for the second bit to be a jape. That’s brilliant! And proves what a super bunch of sports the sweaty socks really are.
        (I am half Scottish – my father was from Edinburgh so I feel fairly comfortable bashing both Scots and English. Bit of a shame I have no connections to the bloody Welsh or Irish, really. 😉 )


      • My partner is from Yorkshire, which is geographically too close to being Welsh or Scottish for comfort in my view. We communicate in sign language during our frequent affectionate moments and by kicking each other up the arse when one of us wants the other to put the bins out.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Sounds reasonable enough to me!


  2. What an absolute corker of a swilly. Absolute joy to read old chap

    Wee Jock Pooh Pong McPlop
    Stirling Castle
    Southend on sea

    Liked by 1 person


Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s