There was mounting criticism in some quarters for the British version of the American, Black Lives Matter, pressure group last night after their president, Julian Boddington-Smythe, announced that the group were imposing a strict ‘whites only’ policy.
Boddington-Smythe, 22, the son of a Surrey stockbroker, spoke to SoZ Satire shortly after his release from police custody last night; following his arrest, and that of 8 of his white colleagues, at a sit-down protest at London City airport yesterday morning.
Wearing a Saville Row suit and a “Roots Me Bredrin” t-shirt, the unemployed former sociology student said: “We’ve been attacked in the Tory media for not having any blacks at the protest this morning and that’s because we don’t want any. We get a bad enough press as it is without having any gangsta types jumping on the bandwagon. We can’t be expected to take on the white establishment and fight for our oppressed black brethren with those sort of people in tow for God’s sake.
“The rules are that you must be white-British, middle to upper-middle class, and with a proven history of being a spoilt and demanding, disruptive pain in the arse almost from birth.
“People with names like Tarquin, Jemima, Gerald, or Sophie are particularly welcome; but we don’t want any Winstons, Delroys or Darrishas thank you very much.”
A spokesman for Black Lives Matter in Montgomery, Alabama expressed surprise when we told him of the no blacks ruling last night.
“Say what? he told us “No goddamn niggers in a black pressure group? Those limey assholes must be crazy man. With any luck, one of the brothers from one of the other limey hoods will drive by their boss man’s crib and bust a cap in his skinny white ass”