Russian Paralympics Team Face Ban as One-Legged Man Smashes 100 Metres World Record

 

wheelchair

Talented unidexter or drugs cheat? Kleptchcow pictured yesterday undergoing a gruelling training session with his coach

 

The Russian paralympic team came under suspicion yesterday after a man with only one leg obliterated Usain Bolt’s 100 metres world record by an astonishing 6 seconds.

Vladimir Kleptchow, 81, who was born with one leg and no foot attached to the other one, clocked a blistering 3.89 seconds at Crystal Palace Sports Centre last night, attracting suspicion from the sport’s governing body, the International Athletics Federation.

Mr Kleptchow, who is also registered blind and deaf, underwent a drugs test in 1998 – which was conducted by scientists in Moscow – after thrashing Scottish darts legend, Jocky Wilson, by 5 sets to nil in The World Darts Championship at Glasgow Conference Centre.

He was eventually cleared of any wrongdoing after the Russian boffins claimed he was unable to give a urine sample due to a bladder removal operation the day before.

This latest controversy comes just a week after a cloud of suspicion was cast over the Russians, when a woman with no arms shattered the world pole vault record by 25 feet in Helsinki using a walking stick jammed up her bottom

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5 Comments

Filed under Satire

5 responses to “Russian Paralympics Team Face Ban as One-Legged Man Smashes 100 Metres World Record

  1. Reblogged this on The Whitechapel Whelk and commented:
    One from our brother-in-satire, Danny Soz here ladies and gents. Don’t be too hard on the boy; he’s armless enough.

    Like

  2. Putin has had surgery to extend his vision capabilities and he has his eyes on Eastern Europe.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Everything about this article is hilarious!

    Liked by 1 person

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