Whelk Exclusive: Squeaky Clean Star’s Ripper Shame

Another ripping yarn from our alter-egos at The Whitechapel Whelk right here folks.

The Whitechapel Whelk

jack in fog Jack pictured plying his grim trade in Whitechapel back in the olden days

The Whitechapel Whelk can exclusively reveal that Daytime TV Host and Sun newspaper columnist, Lorraine Kelly, has a sinister connection to the infamous mass murderer, Jack The Ripper, whose grisly crimes led to a reign of terror in late 19th century London.

A leading “Ripperologist” has told us that Kelly, 79, was in her home when a recent repeat of a Jack The Ripper movie, starring Michael Caine as Inspector Aberline, was being screened, and that there is a distinct possibility that the squeaky clean Scottish star could have watched it, or at least, had it on in the background while she was doing the ironing.

Last night, Kelly, renowned for her wholesome image, strongly denied the sickening allegations when she was confronted at her home by a Whelk reporter: “I saw that the film was on…

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