The Whelk’s Handy Guide to Facebooking Without the Internet

So true hun! 🙂

The Whitechapel Whelk

beckhamA 75-year-old trawlerman from Lowestoft displaying his latest FB avatar last night.

Avatar Simulation: Enlarge a particularly flattering picture of yourself taken a least two decades ago and walk around the streets with it glued to your face. Singularly unattractive people may prefer to use their favourite celebrity; such as George Clooney or Rachel Weiss. You’ll be fooling nobody mind.

Posting: Enter a crowded room holding aloft pictures of one of the following:  Your dinner, a holiday snap, you in a drunken state surrounded by a number of equally inebriated halfwits, your utterly hideous child, a meme containing a profound epithet that you couldn’t possibly have come up with in a month of Sundays, a beloved pet that would quite frankly look better after being run over by a bus, or, lastly, one of yourself taken in your teen years which proves beyond any doubt that you haven’t improved with…

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