“Knees Up Mother Brown” to Replace National Anthem at Sporting Events

The Whitechapel Whelk

In a surprise move, the government, in conjunction with The Royal Family, have decided to ditch God Save The Queen at future sporting events and replace it with the cockney anthem: “Knees Up Mother Brown”

It is thought that the government, and indeed, The Queen herself, have long been of the opinion that the present national anthem is a bit of a dirge that fails to instil enthusiasm into Britain’s sporting competitors and that a more lively and upbeat anthem was called for.

It’s understood that Her Majesty and members of The Royal Family have already been hard at work practicing the leg-pumping dancing that accompanies the famous old tune – apart from The Duke of Edinburgh who just plays the piano due to arthritis in both hips.

Parliament welcomed the news yesterday, with Prime Minister, David Cameron, calling the decision “blinding.” Leader of The Opposition, Jeremy Corbyn, was opposed…

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