Whitechapel to Host 2020 Olympics For The Elderly

Might as well shove this one on here so people can pretend to have read it I ‘spose. 🙂

The Whitechapel Whelk

old people Crack elderly athletes strain every sinew as they train for the 200m incontinence dash in the forthcoming Whitechapel Olympics

There was jubilation in the East London district of Whitechapel last night when it was announced that they will be hosting the 204th Pensioner’s Olympiad in July 2020.

The deprived inner-city area, beat off stiff competition from a host of strong contenders worldwide, including: Miami Florida, Brisbane Australia, a small village in The Himalayas which boasts an unlikely average age of 103, and Bournemouth which claims to sell more Phylosan tablets per capita than any other place on earth.

The run-down district in the heart of London’s East End now has to gear itself up to host over a million unsteady visitors with impaired vision, failing memories and bladder control issues, with building costs on public lavatories alone expected to exceed a billion pounds.

Some of the events being staged in…

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