Cockney Characters: Rubber Johnny, The Sexually Insane Dinner Party Consultant

The Whitechapel Whelk

rubber johnny

Dear Rubber Johnny

My wife and I are throwing a small dinner party for around a dozen friends this weekend and we were wondering about hors oeuvres. Should we push the boat out and go for something fancy like crostini with lemon fennel slaw, or keep it simple and serve a classic like peanut chicken skewers with a spicy mayo dip?

Mr and Mrs Nigel Precious
London E17


Dear Nigel

Have you ever thrown a dinner party wearing latex panties under your trousers? I have and it’s absolutely marvelous! The sensation of the rubber against my engorged member as we made small talk was so mind blowing I actually ejaculated violently during the soup course. Does Mrs Precious like rubber? If so, could you send me some pictures of her wearing a gas mask?

If I were you, I’d go for something easy to prepare and yet delicious…

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