Bungling met office doyen, Michael Fish, last night reassured the people of Mexico that the hurricane – forecast to hit the south western seaboard of the country in the early hours of this morning – is in fact not going to happen and is probably down to unsubstantiated rumours from a few scaremongers.
Speaking to reporters outside his bungalow: “Barbecue Summer” in Eastbourne, Fish, 107, said: “A lady in Puerto Valletta rang me earlier to say that she’d heard that a powerful hurricane was due to strike within hours. Well don’t worry, it isn’t. In actual fact, I’ve studied my own charts and it looks like it’s going to be quite a pleasant day in all honesty. Might be a good one for taking the family to the beach or out for a clifftop drive if you’re in that neck of the woods”
When shown footage of the swathe of destruction that Hurricane Patricia has already left in its wake; Fish became flustered and said: That’s not a hurricane. That’s what we meteorologists call; being a bit blowy”
The ex-BBC man, notorious for failing to warn of the devastating hurricane that struck southern England in 1987, went on: “Now if you could have seen that bad boy that hit the south coast in ’87. Now THAT was a hurricane!”