Scottish singing duo, The Proclaimers, were said to be in shock last night after news broke that a coloured man from Alabammy in The United States has trounced their seemingly unbeatable record for boasting of walking long distances in the name of love.
Mr Al Jolson, 128, has reportedly stated that he would walk a staggering, million miles for one of the smiles from his mother – or ‘Mammy’, as he calls her. This smashes the previous record set by The Proclaimers in 1993 when they proudly boasted of being prepared to walk 500 miles, and then a further 500, making an impressive total of 1000, just to fall down at the door of a girlfriend.
A late rival for the crown last night was a Major Tom from South London, who, according to his close friend, Mr D. Bowie, also from South London, had crossed one hundred thousand miles after telling his wife he loved her very much. Sadly for him, this feat remains unsubstantiated due to the fact that when we tried to contact him we were told that his circuit’s dead and that there was something wrong.