The scene is Homophobe’s study at 221B Hetero Avenue in Brighton, Sussex. The great detective and insufferable bigot is breakfasting at a small table when his great friend and staunch assistant, Dr John Mincing, bursts into the room in a state of great excitement:
Mincing – I say, Homophobe! Have you seen The Times obituary column this morning? Lord Rutherford has died in the most singular of circumstances. This could be worth investigating further in my opinion. What do you say old friend?
Homophobe – Are you trying to gay me up Mincing? Now look here you raving nancy boy; I’ve had just about enough of your perverse innuendos and your ill-disguised attempts to bed me. Now get out before I summon the magistrate and have you charged with lewd conduct and attempted buggery!
Mincing – !!!!!
Next Week: Homophobe accuses Mincing of looking up his trouser leg in The British Library