You know that Michael Caine the actor bloke? Well, did you know that he suffers from a rare condition that prevents him from eating anything other than pie and mash? If he eats anything else his body reacts so violently it almost kills him. His mum gave him a sausage sandwich when he got home from school once and they had to get the priest in to give him the last rites. Fortunately, a doctor gave him a plate of pie and mash and he recovered almost instantly. Absolutely true that is. A geezer down the pub told me.
Next week in SoZ Satire’s Wonderful Worldwide World of Wonders: David Cameron’s sudden pork allergy.