Old Lady’s House Didn’t Smell Of Stew: Window Cleaner’s Shock Claim

dirty saucepan

A typical old lady’s stovetop pictured last night. Image supplied by Old Grunter Weekly

 

A window cleaner from East London last night claimed that the home of an elderly lady he visited on his round had no lingering odour of simmering stew, or indeed, of any other dish which had been left cooking on the stove.

Toby Carter, 35, from Shoreditch revealed: “One of my elderly, lady customers asked me if I could come in and clean the inside of the kitchen window which had become discoloured and a bit smeary. I have to admit I was pretty reluctant as I was almost certain I’d have to put up with the smell of stew of some description which was bound to be cooking slowly on the stove.

“I did my usual trick of gulping down a lungful of fresh air, held my breath and rushed inside to get the job squared away as quickly as possible. To my astonishment, there was no huge saucepan with dried crud around the rim bubbling away on the cooker. I slowly expelled the air from my lungs and took a tentative sniff. When I discovered there was no rancid aroma of half-cooked brisket with chopped root vegetables and cabbage, I almost dropped my squeegee in surprise.

“When I’d finished, the lady asked me if I’d mind doing the small frosted window in the downstairs toilet, but I told her I had to get home early for a parcel delivery as I didn’t want to risk it”

This latest revelation comes just two weeks after a gas fitter from Whitechapel claimed that an elderly man, for whom he was installing a new boiler, didn’t stink of dried piss.

East London Gazette.

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