“I couldn’t get a man to save my life until the updated Halloween issue of Soz came out, now I’m up the duff with George Clooney’s kid. Thanks Soz Satire”
Following the launch of the updated Halloween issue of Soz Satire magazine yesterday, a record number of extremely ugly females have reported a dramatic rise in the number of attractive men wanting to make love to them.
The phenomenon has been attributed to the extremely poor quality of the jokes in the publication leading to men choosing to do anything other than read it.
Here are a few testimonials from desperate male readers:
“I started to read the updated version of Soz Satire last night but found it so unfunny I immediately went next door and got my leg over a hideous looking old tugboat” – Brad Pitt
“The updated version was so utterly devoid of any good jokes I gave a diabolical old hound a back scuttling in the pub bogs” – Johnny Depp
“The revamped Halloween issue made me want to give a dodgy looking munter a portion rather than read on, but it was so crap I couldn’t get the horn so I hit Justin Bieber with an iron bar instead” – Orlando Bloom.
Here’s a link to the mag in question so you can judge for yourselves my friends:
WARNING: Don’t blame me if you end up bollocks deep in some four-eyed, 22 stoner with thrush and a lazy eye before you get to the skit about Cheryl Cole in the Personal & Classified Ads section ok?