Dear Soz


Dear Soz Satire

Children’s homes owners. Raise half a million pounds overnight by dressing around 30% of your homeless orphans in dog costumes and setting fire to them.

Marvin Gormless


Footnote: This brief but earnest little satire was to express my utter consternation that a fire at a dog’s home in Manchester attracted a veritable flood of donations which reached over £500.00 in a matter of hours, while children’s charities are lucky, in some instances, to raise that sum in a year.

A radio journalist who dared raise the same concerns was branded “worse than a paedophile” by one overwrought cunt of a woman. No really!

As Plato said to Euripedes down the boozer one night: You couldn’t make it up could you son?”


Filed under Satire

11 responses to “Dear Soz

  1. sozsatire

    I like dogs as much as the next fucker btw. I’ve had Staffordshire Bull Terriers for years and I take em for walks, give em biscuits, pat em on their fluffly little bonces, the full bastard monty. Ok? x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Reblogged this on mikesteeden and commented:
    Proper satire from Danny Soz.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Oh my goodness…wrote a poem with this same sentiment some time ago, but was afraid animal lovers would be too insulted if published. Yes, I often see my friends rally for sick animals and I’m pretty sure if I got seriously ill, no one would give a rat’s ass (for fear of hurting the poor rat!)


    • sozsatire

      Ah yes but you’re not a satirist. It’s in my DNA to insult people you see. If I write a piece and nobody becomes irate at best, or at worst feel a little guilt or discomfort, I feel as if I’ve let the side down somewhat.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Right, interesting…I do feel my stuff can be satirical at times, but up against you, not really. Your blunt deliverance makes it expected and accepted.


      • sozsatire

        With all due deference and respect, you’re too “nice” to write satire. I’ve seen many people label their copy as “satire” and I always permit myself a little, knowing inner smile when all I see is gentle, inoffensive, rather banal humour, featuring characters with “funny names”
        Satire should be raw, wounding, and should ache with a sense of social injustice. If it doesn’t offend those to whom it’s directed it has failed and should be consigned to the trash can.
        I’ve written a piece this morning which I consider to be a prime example of what satire, in it’s truest form, should be.
        Enjoy, or not, as the case may be, but at least be outraged and moved to either condemn or condone the piece.
        Have a fine weekend.


      • Okay, I’ll let you know what I think.


  4. Spos peeps think dogs are defenceless and kids have someone looking out for them. Dunno.


    • sozsatire

      That’s the trouble with peeps you see? In the 1930s it was those self-same peeps who thought that Hitler and Mussolini were the way forward for Europe, and eventually, the world.
      In my view peeps spend far too much time thinking. Of course there are some peeps whose thinking is constructive and beneficial to all. Quantum physicists, engineers, medical pioneers etc. However peeps who are of the opinion that raising 1 million smackers for a bloody dogs home with the best part of the former inmates reduced to ashes is a jolly fine idea, are the type of peeps that need their heads shoving into a water-filled bucket and then held there for a considerable time. IMHO of course


  5. Good one ……. most of the days I spare a second to worry about the real needs of these people ……… asylum or something more ironic that may resemble the brainchild of Loki or Nemesis …. 😛

    Liked by 1 person


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