95% Of Americans Will Have Accidentally Killed Each Other By 2050 Concludes Survey

massacre

Pupils and teachers from Alabama State High School pictured taking an enforced break during a class nature walk yesterday.

 

A shock investigation by a popular American magazine has revealed that by the year 2050 an incredible 95% of American citizens will have accidentally killed each other by the negligent discharge of firearms.

The in-depth analysis comes just weeks after a young black male was shot dead in the street by cops who mistook his hands up gesture to be a threat to the lives of themselves and fellow officers, and the accidental fatal shooting of a firearms instructor by a 9 year old girl last week.

Fightin’ And A Feudin’ magazine also claim that by the turn of the next century the American armed forces will have entirely wiped themselves out, along with 97% of Nato forces, in friendly fire incidents.

A spokesman for the National Rifle Association Of America played down the report last night. “We at the NRA totally refute these findings. Every American citizen has the right to bear arms under the constitution and if a few sorry sonsofbitches get caught in the crossfire then all I can say is they probably had it coming”

Clivey Dee. Popular Hedgehog & Live Ammo Weekly.

 

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10 Comments

Filed under Satire

10 responses to “95% Of Americans Will Have Accidentally Killed Each Other By 2050 Concludes Survey

  1. Reblogged this on mikesteeden and commented:
    Satire from Lord Daniel Soz 7th. Earl of Whitechapel!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. sozsatire

    I’m actually a belted earl you know. My nan was a cruel woman but fair. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Pierre Lagacé

    How you keep your sanity on this blog with this insane world of ours is beyond my comprehension.

    Something dreadful is brewing up down south (I live in Canada) and it’s slowly boiling over here with our conservative government lead by Prime Minister Harper. Canada has been heading in the wrong direction since the Conservatives took over with the backing of big tar sand oil money Writing these last few words causes me a lot of aggravation.

    I will end my comment here.

    Thanks for sharing your views on this crazy world.

    Liked by 1 person

    • sozsatire

      Whenever I see something that I find grotesque, ridiculous, or both, I find the most satisfying way of addressing it is to lampoon it!

      It’s a kind of soothing balm for the mind and the conscience you see.

      Like

  4. as a life-chartered NRA member – all I can say is that at least it will keep Social Security solvent

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Pierre Lagacé

    I hate to burst anyone’s bubble here on this blog, but democracy has been dead for quite awhile. People who died in wars to preserve it should be mad as hell.

    Everything now if big lobbies behind the scene, and all is about money.

    I hate to put on comment like that but since it’s a fiver a word, I am richer for it.

    Like

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