Dear Soz Satire.
I own my own home but have recently fallen on hard times. A couple of weeks ago I broke into the local prison to steal a television set from one of the cells. Just as I was making my escape I was spotted by one of the prisoners who tried to prevent me getting away. I immediately drew a gun and shot him a number of times before making good my escape. To my utter disgust I was arrested a few days later and charged with attempted murder while the convicted felon concerned got off scot free. Once again it’s a case of one law for the wrongdoer and another for poor old Joe Public
The Isle Of Wight