ITV4. 22.45: The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford. – Western starring Brad Pitt and Casey Affleck
Film 4. 23.25: The Assassination Of Pop Music By The Moon-Faced Fuck Simon Cowell. – A wry, uncompromising look at the phenomena that is The X Factor featuring interviews with some of the tone deaf arseoles who have found fame and fortune after appearing on the show.
Warning: This programme may contain bum notes, moronic viewers, overweight Scottish ladies with faces like robber’s dogs and ridiculous, high-waisted trousers.