The Soz Satire Mint Proudly Presents: The Elvis Presley Love Me Tender Fly Spray Of Hope

elvis

“The fly has now left your building. Thang you very much”

 

We at the Soz Satire mint are delighted to announce that we have a limited number of these beautifully crafted, solid tin-substitute, fly sprays available at more than three times the price you’d expect to pay anywhere else.

Each aerosol comes complete with a small top-mounted nozzle and is personally signed by a genuine Elvis impersonator from some Godforsaken town in the north of England.

Lovingly machine crafted by impoverished Belarusian orphans, we give you our personal guarantee that if The King had ever been in a room with a fly in it he’d have reached for a can almost identical to this one.

Paying for this wonderful addition to your cupboard under the sink could not be easier. You don’t even have to worry about the price. Simply send us your bank details and we’ll stop taking the easy monthly payments from your account when we consider you’ve covered our costs or you run out of funds, whichever comes first.

No Quibble Or Legal Redress Reservation Form.

I hereby declare that I’m a gullible simpleton and/or elderly and vulnerable and that I have absolutely no objection to rogue tarmac gangs, pikey roofers or pushy door to door salesman authorised by The Soz Satire Mint coming to my home to  badger me into parting with pretty much everything I own. I cannot read small print but I’m going to sign this irrespective of the consequences.

I live at ……………………… and I go out shopping or to collect my pension from the post office at …am or…pm. I usually leave the key………… I do/do not have a dog.

Signed….

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

5 Comments

Filed under Humor, Humour, Satire

5 responses to “The Soz Satire Mint Proudly Presents: The Elvis Presley Love Me Tender Fly Spray Of Hope

  1. Lovely. A much needed item.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. sozsatire

    I found this completely hilarious and I bet if you went round shedloads of other blogs saying “Great Post” no matter how feeble the copy, you’d get lots and lots of other people thinking it’s hilarious too! Trust me on this one ok?

    Like

  3. Don’t be so fucking ridiculous! People only ever get lots of “likes” and encouraging comments because their output is absolutely excellent! Why the very idea! 😦

    Liked by 1 person

      • sozsatire

        Yes it has that bitter-sweet tang of the truth about it doesn’t it mate? 🙂
        I equate all this mutual backslapping to a couple of women complimenting each other on their posh frocks at a cocktail party, despite the fact they both secretly think the other looks like shit on a stick 🙂

        Like

ADMIRERS WELCOME...CRITICS WILL BE SHOT!

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s