Government Proposal Will Allow Dying Women To Hold The Remote Control For A Bit

“I don’t give a damn how many days you have left love. The footie stays ON!”

 

The Home Office yesterday announced a controversial proposal that will permit any woman diagnosed with a terminal medical condition to hold the television remote control for up to an hour, even after her husband or male partner has arrived home from work or the pub.

Under the proposal women will be able to switch channels ad nauseum while alone in the house but must seek tacit consent when a male is present in the room.

While the proposal has been widely welcomed by women’s groups, there have been some dissenting voices opposing the move.

Edward Carter, 46, a furniture porter from Spitalfields, East London, whose wife has terminal bowel cancer, told us. “I’m absolutely dead against it to be honest with you. What happens if I’m watching a re-run of a World Cup group match at teatime and she switches over to A Place In The Sun or The One Show? It’s just another example of these bloody feminists throwing their weight around if you ask me. They’ll be expecting us to stop giving the old woman the occasional clip round the ear next!”

It is understood that the proposal only extends to the television remote control at present, although it is rumoured that a further move is being considered allowing women, who can prove beyond doubt that they have less than a month to live, to switch on the radio manually and listen to The Archers omnibus edition on Sunday mornings as long as their husband isn’t too hungover.

 

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