Kidnapped Nigerian Schoolgirls Found On Olly Murs’s Big Face

Absolutely true this is. A geezer down the pub and Associated Press told me.

The League of Mental Men!


“I gotta big face”

There was widespread joy amongst the families of the 200 Nigerian schoolgirls, kidnapped and held by terror group, Boko Haran, last night as news broke that the youngsters had been found safe and well on the enormous face of British pop star, Olly Murs.

It is believed that the terrorists had hidden the girls in the large bushy area of one of Murs’s eyebrows over 3 weeks ago before they were discovered on Friday afternoon by a group of potholers who were exploring a number of the deep cavernous pores on the side of his nose.

They were all reported to be in reasonably good health, albeit a little malnourished,  and with a few complaining of various moisturiser-related problems.

We spoke to the delighted mother of one of the youngsters last night, who told us “This is the happiest day of my life. To find out…

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