12 Years An England Fan: Football Association Hit By Bonded Slavery Storm


Two “uppity” Sheffield Wednesday fans pictured last night in Greg Dyke’s back garden.



Following on from the recent outcry over the pricing of replica England World Cup shirts, which are to retail at a hefty £90.00 each, the England Football Association are now under fire over a proposed move which will force supporters to sign a bonded slavery agreement on behalf of themselves and their families which will secure them the right to buy an England pennant to fly from their cars during the Brazil-hosted tournament this summer.

Speaking in defence of the move from his sprawling sugar plantation in Rotherham, the head of the FA, Greg “Boss” Dyke, 97, told reporters.

“Me and some of the other FA boys have noticed that some of these supportin’ sonsofbitches have been gittin’ a might too uppity just lately, so we done decided to learn ’em some manners. If that means enslaving their no-good asses then ah guess that’s just the way it has to be boys”

Meanwhile reaction amongst fans has been mixed. One supporter, who asked that his identity be withheld, told us from his log cabin just outside Middlesborough.

“Landsakes! What’s y’all a tellin’ me? Massa Dyke he’s a hard man fo’ sho boss! Still ah guess if he’s all set on me a sellin’ mah ass and mah wife and chillen into slavry ah guess there aint nothin’ else fo’ it! Ah mean to say, if a dumb supportin’ boy like me needs a pennant a flyin’ and a flutterin’ from his car then what else is a body to do? Lawks ah swear ah don’t know sah!”

When we tried to relay fan’s concerns over the proposal to Mr Dyke, his wife told us he’d just left home with a number of FA board members and a pack of coon dogs to hunt down a runaway West Ham supporter who was spotted selling counterfeit Steven Gerrard mugs in Whitechapel Market.

Disclaimer: No England fans were given an ass whuppin’ or lynched from an Elm Tree during the writing of this skit…I expect.

For more utter drivel of a similarly appalling standard please visit http://sozsatire.wix.com/soz-satire



Filed under Satire

3 responses to “12 Years An England Fan: Football Association Hit By Bonded Slavery Storm

  1. West Ham supporter; Steven Gerrard mugs (counterfeit or not) – never happened. Now if you’d said Billy Bonds, well another story!


  2. Reblogged this on mikesteeden and commented:
    Epic satirical insanity – a must read over a mug of cha!


    • You’re an absolute toff son! Thanks so much for that. Me stats have never looked healthier mate 🙂
      A bit like the coffers of the FA when our boys kick off in the land of the Bosa Nova and The Samba 😉



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