Now then. It’s not often I feature filthy, rival satirists on this blog my friends. In fact this will be the first time anyone but myself has sullied this Shangri-La of wit and wisdom *drums fingers impatiently, waiting for gales of laughter to subside* but I am making an exception in the case of one of my dearest fiends (sp)?, and most frequently inebriated, brothers-in-satire, because he lives in France and I feel a bit sorry for him.
“Comrades” used to be a joint undertaking by myself and this lout, which used to light up the portals of a well-know satirical magazine back in the day, until we were both thrown out of the premises by the sub-editor for drunkenness, subversion, racism, and flicking the lights on and off when a female member of the editorial staff was in the ladies having a shit.
So without further ado or preamble my wuffly ickle WordPress frendzzzzzzzz, I give you “Comrades” by Gary Moore “Churchmouse” (with some much-needed, deft (not to mention, heroic) editing by moi of course!!!)
The temperature dipped a bit today. When we thawed out the thermometer, it read -35.C
“Winter draws on” said Comrade Wife. – I thought that she’d put them on at the start of November! Still, we have a roaring bar on the electric fire and plenty of electricity to power it thanks to our glorious state energy produc…
WE THRUST THE BANNER OF FREEDOM INTO THE TESTICLES OF OUR CRAVEN ENEMIES WHO FLEE BEFORE US LIKE CARRION CROWS!!!
Comrade Wife has injured herself by slipping on a frozen cow-pat at the collective farm and will be off work for 2 weeks. The doctor has told her to take things easy. I have thoughtfully advised her to take her wheeled shopping trolley with her when she sets off on the ten kilometres through the snow to get my vodka from the market in Voldosgrad. It was touching to see the tears of gratitude well up in her eyes.
There is still no sign of missing heroic cat.
OUR WOMENFOLK LAUGH AT THE PAMPERED WESTERN FLOOSIES WITH THEIR DECADENT LABOUR-SAVING TESCO ‘BUY-ON-LINE’ HOME DELIVERY
Had a nice quiet night in with Comrade Wife last night. We settled down in front of the TV to watch a 2 hour display of Cossack dancing by the 731st Infantry Regiment, followed by ‘Denounce your Neighbour’ hosted by ‘Cheeky’ Colonel Boranavich from the 21st Moscow NKVD death squad. How the poor down-trodden workers of The West must envy our cultural superiority.
OUR GLORIOUS PIANO ACCORDIANS BRING JOY TO THE WORLD!
Spectacular display of the Northern Lights last night. We were totally spell-bound as we looked out of the hole in the wall where the window used to be, and marvelled at the coloured beams of light swirling in every direction. How foolish we felt when this morning Mr Danolski from downstairs told us that it was actually the local nuclear power station going into melt-down.
Seem to have developed a slight rash.
WE JOYOUSLY VIOLATE THE SOFT UNDERBELLY OF THE IMPERIALIST JACKALS!
Wonderful news! Heroic cat has returned!. All of the family are delighted to see him as we’ve been worried for weeks. There will be a special celebratory dinner tonight as he has brought a mouse back with him.
RAISE YOUR VOICES IN EXULTATION COMRADES AS WE MARCH ON TO A GLORIOUS NEW DAWN OVER THE TWITCHING BODIES OF OUR IMPERIALIST FOES!
Heroic Comrade Cat has gone missing again 😦