Satirical Magazine Buried Alive In Fracking Tragedy

Image

Soz magazine pictured before it became buried under tons of rubble all due to that fracking.

The world of satirical humour remained largely indifferent today as news broke of the demise of deeply unpopular and almost totally ignored magazine, Soz Satire, following a geological disaster caused by the shale gas extracting process known as fracking.

The magazine’s offices in East London were swallowed up inside a huge fissure in the earth’s crust after a man in Wigan put a high pressure hose into the ground earlier this morning.

All the editorial staff and writers perished, apart from the sub editor who was already lying unconscious in the gents toilet at The Boleyn Arms in West Ham. Doctors last night described his condition as “pedantic and irritating”

Tributes from the world of journalism have already started trickling in:

“Hot damn! Are you serious? This is awesome news! Those limey sonsofbitches have had it comin’ for years!” – The Onion

“Fuck’s sake! This is absolutely fucking diabolical! Fracking disaster you say? The poor cunts!” – The Salvation Army War Cry

“Tragic news which has saddened us all at these offices. I always found their work wonderfully uplifting, flashing and winking like a prism and yet redolent with the acrid stench of decay and death” – The Beano

“EYE CANT REED BUT EYE’M SORREE THEY ARE AWL DED” – The Times Higher Educational Supplement

“Christ my bloody joints are killing me!” – The Rheumatism And Arthritis News

“A shocking blow to the world of quality satire. My thoughts are with their families at this difficult time. I wonder what colour panties they were all wearing when they were crushed by the falling masonry” – Women And Animals

“Can ye no see ahm too drunk tae comment ye barmpot! Noo get tae fuck oot o’ here ya fuggin’ bashtas yersh!” – The Scotsman

“I have never seen eet. Hee haw hee haw hee haw” – The Arsene Wenger Bugle incorporating Popular Optician.

A memorial service will be held tomorrow night in the public bar of The Lord Rodney’s Head in Whitechapel. It was apparently the editor Clive Danton’s last wish that all his friends from the world of journalism should celebrate his passing with watered-down lager and salmonella sandwiches.

For more utter drivel of a similarly appalling standard please visit http://sozsatire.wix.com/soz-satire

Advertisements

7 Comments

Filed under Humor, Humour, Satire, Soz Satire, Spoof

7 responses to “Satirical Magazine Buried Alive In Fracking Tragedy

    • I’m thanking you Smithy! It IS a bit of a worry though isn’t it? All this fracking I mean. Do you think we’re all going to die? I know my nan does but then again she IS 97.

      Like

  1. To frack or not to frack? Maybe if I lent them my Karcher Pressure Washer and they fracked just a bit things might turn out ok?

    Like

  2. Me

    Fracking has, of course, kept the professional protesters gainfully unemployed, and boosted the sales of tie dye shirts and banner making materials (a real bonus for Hobbycraft)

    Like

  3. Frack those frakkers. The world has lost an amazing satirical bunch of geniuses.

    Like

ADMIRERS WELCOME...CRITICS WILL BE SHOT!

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s