Soz Satire’s Heavily Edited Classics For Facebookers #243: Wuthering Heights


“I wuff oo Heethcliff, will u be my ickle Facebook frend?”

“Yesssssssssss. I wuff oo too Caffy! I wuff oo and I want lotzzz and lotzzz of snuggles”

“LOOOOOOOL ur so norty Heethcliff. Wood yew lyke to see my bootyful ickle kitten. I can send u a pichure ov him on my fone babezzz?”

“Yesssssssss! Send me one ov ur ickle kitty and annuver one ov ur titzzzzz”

“NOOOOOOOOOOO! LOL LOL LOL! OK then but only if u shew me one ov ur nob ROTFLMAO!”

“I can’t babezzzzzz. I’m going to foreign parts to seek my forchooon”

“OK hun. Laterzzzzzz. Wudge oo babezzzzzz (((((((HUGZZZZZZZ)))))))

“Wudge oo too babezzzz. Don’t marry sumbody else wile I’m gone ok, cos I’ll be dead jel, and don’t go out in the rain and get a chill in ur ickle tummykinzzzzzz neiver”

“I prom babezzzzz XOXOXOXOX”

Some years later.

“Where’s my bootfull ickle Caffy? I’ve got lotzzzz and lotzzzz of muney and want to buy her lotzzz of presentzzzzz…. Dead! Ur joking! Dead???. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

A bleak windswept moor some hours later. Two spectral figures rush into each others arms.

“Caffy Babezzzzz!”

“Heethcliff my bootyful ickle snugglebunny!”


The End.

For more utter drivel of a similarly appalling standard please visit


Filed under Humor, Humour, Satire, Spoof

4 responses to “Soz Satire’s Heavily Edited Classics For Facebookers #243: Wuthering Heights

  1. I’m guessing this one isn’t for sharing on Facebook then? Shame though as I like it!


  2. Sadly, this captures the times we live in perfectly…



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