An elderly man wishing he’d bought The Princess Diana Tyre Tread Depth Gauge Of Hope pictured last night
Soz Satire are delighted to offer you the chance to purchase any number of these lovingly crafted, commemorative, tyre tread depth gauges, either in six easy instalments or via a one-off payment offering absolutely no discount whatsoever.
Fashioned from the purest low grade iron ore by our world renowned team of Somali asylum seekers, these beautiful little gauges will grace any sideboard or garage wall and serve as a fitting tribute to our beloved Princess Of Hearts, so cruelly taken from us on that dreadful night back in 1990 something.
Each gauge comes in it’s own genuine plastic pouch with a picture of Princess Di stuck to it. We can also vouch for the functionability of each piece, which will accurately measure, give or take a few millimetres, the depth of your tyre tread so that you can ensure each groove is at least 2mm or whatever the limit is these days.
We are convinced you will be absolutely delighted with your purchase, so much so that we offer a no quibble, money back guarantee if you inform us of any problem, in writing, within an hour of delivery.
Stocks are limited so order yours now to avoid missing out on this never to be repeated offer. Simply bring a bankers draft for £2000 or a bag of Kruger Rands round to our offices at The Lord Rodney’s Head public house in Whitechapel East London, where one of our sales team will be only to happy to take your money before sidling out into the street with his collar turned up.
Disclaimer: I fully realise that The Soz Satire Mint have no obligation whatsoever to deliver or hand over the goods for which I am paying and that the chances of them doing so are very slim, bordering on non-existent. I am quite elderly or a vulnerable member of society with absolutely no idea how to make legal redress after being defrauded. My address is …………..and I am usually out from………to……… I do/do not have a dog.
For more great offers, suspiciously similar to this one, why not visit us at http://sozsatire.wix.com/soz-satire Go on, we’ll mug you off in there too!