Now Then Me Duck. Hull Prepares To Be UK City Of Culture.

The reigning Miss Hull pouts prettily for the camera after hearing the good news.

Following the surprise news that Hull is to be UK City Of Culture in 2017, city dignitaries have announced that a giant toilet duck is to be floated in the Humber Estuary to mask the smell of fish.

Mayor Jim Arkwright broke off his celebrations with delirious townsfolk to tell waiting media.

“This is our great city’s finest hour since The Housemartins did that funny dancing on Top Of The Pops. However, we’re not going to rest on our laurels just yet. We’ve ordered a giant toilet duck to be towed into the estuary before all the tourists arrive so that they don’t go home smelling of Halibut”.

“We also plan to give every man, woman and child a personal speech therapist, like the one King George had in that film, so that we wont sound half daft on the telly when we’re talking about paintings and the like”

When we asked if the city would now be disassociating itself with controversial, former Deputy Prime Minister, John Prescott, he lashed out angrily at reporters, smashing a camera and stalked away muttering “Bah eck! There’s nowt so queer as folk and no mistake”

For more utter drivel of a similarly appalling standard please visit


Filed under Humor, Humour, Satire, Spoof

4 responses to “Now Then Me Duck. Hull Prepares To Be UK City Of Culture.

  1. I’d just started writing a John Prescott thing about this and you’ve ruined it! Nevertheless yours is better than the shit I was spinning out. Excellent stuff Mr Lionel. Sometimes I wonder what its all about.


  2. You know, in my opinion, good satire is often as informative as the news itself. It’s just news in disguise. This was great news, cleverly disguised and I learned so much about Hull in a few paragraphs. Thank you dearly!


    • You’re more than welcome my friend. I actually bashed that one out in around 10 minutes flat just to annoy an irate Yorkshireman who had taken umbrage to my Facebook lampooning of one of the pretty horrendous cities that besmirch this fair land of ours as soon as you go north ofThe Thames Valley. I quickly shared it on FB for this gentleman’s delectation and delight. So far no response. However – “Ah’ll keep thee posted lad. Eeee bah eck ah will!” as he would no doubt put it. 😉



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