WARNING: This Satirical Magazine May Contain Traces Of People With Big Faces.







I read this magazine on the train to work and found myself forced to get off at Clapham Junction so that I could vomit into a wastepaper bin  –  The Urban Cyclist.

I found this magazine so chock full of searing erotica I was given a written warning by my employer for having erect nipples at the water cooler  –  Archbishop Desmond Tutu

This magazine was practically unreadable! Mind you I was 2000 leagues beneath The Black Sea at the time  –  Jacques Cousteau Jr.

Sortly after reading this magazine my entire body was wracked with pain and all my joints started aching  –  The Rheumatism and Arthritis Bugle

A savage and brutal publication, seething with unfettered erotica and redolent with the acrid stench of death  –  Tracy Simpkins 7.

I deed not see eet  –  The Arsene Wenger Gazzette

I became so aroused after reading this publication I rushed next door and thrust my erupting member through their letterbox  –  Clare Balding BBC Sport.

Hoots!  –  The Scotsman

A cracking good read! I particularly enjoy the way they rip the living piss out of people with big faces  –  Olly Murs

I hate Britain and everyone who lives there, so it stands to reason I hate this magazine also and would flob on it from my balcony given half the chance  –  Justin Bieber

First fucking rate! The fucking bastards who write and publish this shit deserve a fucking medal in my bastard book!  –  Salvation Army Warcry.

One was extremely amused  –  Elizabeth from Windsor

I found the magazine interesting but was rather disappointed by the lack of naked youngsters  –  Stuart Hall

A wonderfully uplifting and spiritual read. I found the content thought-provoking and replete with decency. If I had my way this magazine would be required reading for our schoolchildren, who could learn a great deal from the morality that shines from every page  –  Women And Animals.


So there you have it my friends. The above is proof positive of the sheer, unrivalled quality of this piece of literary toot, and if I wasn’t such a shy, retiring sort of cove with absolutely no ego whatsoever, I’d urge you to click on the link and spend half an hour or so in awestruck disbelief at how incredibly unfunny and banal both myself and my perma-sozzled cohorts can be. But I am. So I wont.

Blessed love to all.




Filed under Uncategorized

3 responses to “WARNING: This Satirical Magazine May Contain Traces Of People With Big Faces.

  1. Sir, your online magazine is quite superb and a ‘must read’ for anyone with a functional brain desireth of satire penned by the ‘Lionel Messie of Satire’ – namely you! Any person reading this comment – take my advice and read on!


    • Take no notice of me dad folks. He gets a bit emotional on Sundee afternoons I’m afraid. It’s the gospel singing and the communal wine that mum puts the blame on.
      *lights pipe and whispers urgently* For God’s sake dad, you do this to me in front of my friends every time!” 😦



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